Traces of black mascara ran down my cheeks. My tears matching the color of my heart which has been shattered into a million pieces. The man of my dreams, my knight in shinning armor, has turned out to be the rider on the horse. He road into my life shinning as the sun. The moon was no match to his brilliance. When he looked into my eyes, his captivating glare charged every cell within my body. He was my hope. Now my hope has been made a fool out of, right there in his hotel room...in his bed. How could he be so heartless? I mean...I thought we were forming a great relationship. But to my surprise, he had a different agenda. A million thoughts ran through my mind at the speed of lighting. Each one numbing my thought process. "I can't think right now", I said to myself. All I can do is feel the anger rising within me. I should have known better. This fly by night had other motives. He was way too smooth with his operation. He cut my chest wide open and made his way into my heart. Why else would I be able to feel his effect on me? He wooed me over with expensive dinners, expensive gifts, and large sums of money he wired into my account on a regular. I should have known better. Most men don't embellish like that unless... My mind spun into over drive thinking about his elaborate plan he executed perfectly well. Mission accomplished. This smooth operator won, at least tonight he did. "It's not over I thought, as I slowly shook my head with squinted eyes and gritted teeth.This is not over." I paid the cab driver with the money he parted me with after we had sex. In bitter silence, I headed up the pathway to my apartment.
Wow, what time is it...7:00 am?! What? My flight leaves in an hour time. I can't believe I slept through my 6:00 am wake-up courtesy call. My head feels like a ton of bricks. I drunk one too many Guinness and to top it off, Natasha started tripping. That girl got issues...too many for a man like me. She's the only woman complaining about me not being able to commit. Money plays a huge factor in this country and the American dollar speak. Hell...money is a huge factor every where. Women would do anything to be with a man of my standards. I'm the cream of the crop. My wealth is the one thing that separate me from the have's and the have not's. And me and my family have...and a lot of it. The women I meet know this about me. I'm not cheap by far. You show me a good time while I'm in your town, and I'll make sure your needs are met also. That's how I roll, and the women I meet are cool with this arrangement. Perhaps, I did lead her own a bit. I'll admit that. An easy way to gain access into a woman's heart is through her children. I allowed myself to feel for her daughter as a father would his own child. My mistake. I'm not that stone cold. I love children, but I should have known better playing daddy to another man's child. Natasha's daughter is bright, mannerable, and a sweet girl. I truly felt for her. I have plenty of nieces around her age from my elder sisters. They love and adore their Uncle Johnathan, and I adore and love them too. She reminds me of them. Too bad. Natasha had to go left on a good thing that could have at least benefited her daughter. I must move on. My next stop, San Francisco. I have a meeting with buyers on a shipment of crude oil that has already left out of New Orleans and making it's way there. My mind escaped business matters for a second when I thought of her. Velvet. A sexy bi-racial chic I met on my last trip to California. I promised to take her out once I returned back on business. I hope she's less complicated. It's not easy being the son to the wealthiest man in South Africa, a Prince, and an influential no none-sense business mogul. However, I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love what I do. My life is sweet
I woke up with the most nagging headache ever. I feel detached from reality. The reality that I was dropped like a bad habit in re-hab. I sat up in my bed trying to process my thoughts that were numbed from the shock of his rejection. I need an Advil and a hot bubble bath. My bath times are always sacred. That's the one place where I release from the stresses of life and slip into a state of true bliss. I need that right now, but first, I must call him. Perhaps last night was just one big misunderstanding. My palms started sweating as I gripped the cordless phone in my hand. I slowly pressed the number keys into the phone, hoping that will give me enough time to think up a good excuse for calling him. I pray that his mood has changed, after all, he did have one too many to drink last night. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking and not him. By now, he should have slept it off. Johnathan answered the phone on the third ring. "Hi", I said nervously, "Can we talk?" Talk about what he said. The tone in his voice was stern and callous. "I have nothing to say to you after you've bad mouth me." "Look, Johnathan, I'm sorry about that. Will you forgive me?" "I can forgive you", he said, "but you and I are finished." "Let's just end things on this note...okay? Tell your daughter Merry Christmas and good bye for me will you." Before I could respond he had already hung up. I sat there holding the phone with a blank expression on my face. So, he really meant it? It's over between us?? I give him my love, my affection, and my body...and in one night of intimacy he's finished with me. What the hell?!! I tried hard to fight back my tears but they came on cue as if they knew when to fall. I have been struggling all my life to receive love, even more so, just to hold on to it. Why is this always happening to me? What am I doing wrong? Isn't it normal to meet a guy, talk for a while, go out more than once, and have mutual attraction for each other? Why when I express my feelings, men haul ass? I'm human. I feel. And I too should be able to express what I want in a relationship. I really thought he was the one. He treated me like a princess when we first met. Now, he has tossed me away like a pair of used shoes. Well, these pair of used shoes are about to walk right back into his life. I've heard about women using the classic "trap" to secure their man, to secure money, or secure a position with a man. Can I get away with this "social security" scheme, I thought? I started calculating. In his haste, he didn't use a rubber. He and I are both aware of that fact. I thought long and hard. My mind took me back to his hostility and the cruel way he told me to leave his hotel room. My mind took me all the way back to the other times I gave my heart to someone, and in return got hurt in the process. Well, this time, I'm going to be the one who will leave my personal effects on a man, instead of a man always leaving his on me. The ball is in my courtyard now. Prince Johnathan...devastation is heading your way.
Latarsha M. Preciado
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